With the news that a new windpipe has been purpose grown for a Spanish patient hospitals and clinics have been flooded with requests for help.
Unsurprisingly many applications are for new "organs" for under endowed English Hoodies. "These nasty little lads suffer from a complete and utter inability to function at even the simplest level of human interaction".
Stated Dr. Sidney Longcock of Dick, Johncock and Peters, a Bio Mass sculpting firm based in Bell End, Birmingham. Longcock went on "And this is believed by experts to be mostly due to the incredibly small penis with which they are afflicted.
Naturally we try to help as many people as possible but our books are now full of these dickless little shits screaming for a new knob that will help them stand a little taller at the urinal of the "Dog and Duck".
There is caveat however, "One must start with the correct base material, for instance a new ear can be made from an earlobe," Longcock explained, "but we find with these Hoodies that as they are mostly complete assholes, any attempts to help them usually just makes a bigger asshole".
Wickham Chase, Staff Reporter
