Iron Man Suit Tops Sales at Adult Websites

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

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The Iron Man Mask shown here before paint

Following the success of the original "Iron Man" movie release by Marvel Entertainment in 2007, a bold step was taken towards expanding their female fan base in conjunction with the video distribution hitting the streets this Fall.

Realizing that the majority of "Iron Man" ticket buyers were men, in some cases men who collect action figures, never bathe or change their Batman tee shirts, Marvel invested heavily in the development of a functional Iron Man suit that was esthetically pleasing to women. In a joint manufacturing effort between Marvel Entertainment, Mitsubishi Robotics and the Adam & Eve Adult Latex Division, the Iron Man suit is filled with features that reportedly appeal to both sexes.

The part metallic, part Lycra and part latex suit tightens and shapes the male body for a more pleasing appearance where the helmet does its job to cover up any deficiencies inherited by the owner's gene pool.

"It works better than 2 paper bags because the average guy is literally transformed into an Iron Man figure", says marketing VP, Buster Binkly. "And there's more inside the suit too."

Binkly demonstrated a series of buttons on the robotic suit that revealed an entire set of motorized, thrusting and smooth shaped appendages.

"There's a motion here that fits any woman's ocean. Let's face it; most guys aren't any good at getting the job done. The Iron Man suit will solve that problem. "

Priced at $799 US dollars, the cost was feared to be exorbitant and fall out of most consumer budgets, but early sales indicators were positive.

"Most of our customers have been women." Says Binkly. "I had a feeling we needed to tap that market."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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