Hustlerboy magazine has offered an economic U.S. bailout of current financial crisis if Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin "will spread for a spread."
"Timing is everything in life," said the wheelchair bound,semi- paralyzed magazine spokesperson. "The fact is we can make the November or December, or even inaugural issue, January, if she acts now. Otherwise we face economic disaster as a nation."
Hustlerboy, a very graphic adult pornographic magazine, known for it's gynological pictorials of their models, would leverage all holdings, magazines, nightclubs, market shares in various pornographic movie industry, to finance this bailout.
"Is that enough to right this economic catastrophe?" asked the straight talking magazine producer. "Well it's real money, it's not the U.S. taxpayers, and I'll throw in a subscription to our magazine to all heterosexual Senators. That's about a half dozen, " he laughed.
The magazine hopes the pictorial of the Alaskan Governor would bring "class" to the magazine. "This could bring some distinction to the magazine, I mean, she is a MILF, she can field dress her beaver for our pages and maybe say something about foreign policy. I'm sure Putin would want this collector's issue."
"Hey, all these politicians say they want to help the country, here I offer a bailout, kind of put your money where you'd like your mouth to be and, well, we'll see," he said as he emptied his colostomy bag.
When asked by this reporter if he intended to present equal time for the Democratic Vice Presidential candidate, Joe Biden, the magazine spokesman laughed, "Sure, sure, let's see what kind of balls this guy has and if he's got a 'hoodie' or a helmet."
Spokesperson for the Palin election committee refused comment.