In a move that has stirred the fashion trade into state of complete inactivity, France has decided that the publication of photographs of ultra-thin and semi-comatose models could lead to a jail sentence. It has also been noted that many models have neither the strength nor the mental agility to put the word "jail" into a sentence anyway.
The National Association for Living Cadavers is said to be enraged, and their spokesman, Red Skeleton said:
"I can understand if one of these miserable women is on a plane, floors one of the staff because she feels superior and then gets banned from flying with them again. Yes. No problem with that. However, why publishers should be denied printing a picture of a 2 -stone, walking corpse is beyond me.
"Not only are models the most animate of the world's un-dead, but denying usage in publicity photographs is damaging to their self-publicity and bank accounts, and can also be totally destructive to the cinema industry when it affects publicity material for films such as "The Night of the Living Dead Part 7". The Vue group, for example, is already struggling to sell its utterly over-priced confectionery to captive youngsters as it is, despite banning them from bringing in good-value products purchased from corner shops.
"Next thing you know, the government will be expecting the fashion industry to start paying living wages to its hordes of sweat-shop employees in the far east, and may even end up insisting that the working day is shortened from 14 hours or even ban the employment of half-blind 10-year olds altogether!
"And I can't see it stopping there once the ball starts rolling. Who knows? Pre-liquidated sports shops may end up having to justify the 39 quid price tag on a substandard England football shirt costing a pound to make.
"Outrageous I say!"