From Los Angeles to Las Vegas; from Seattle to Savannah; from Tallahassee to Tijuana or from Boise to Birmingham, the story is the same. Soaring costs and excessive shortages of fast-foods have caused bitter, antipathy-ridden, religious, gun-toting Americans to take to the streets.
"It's bad enough that gas prices have risen but imagine what it's like driving to your neighborhood burger, taco, hot dog or rib joint only to discover they've run out of food? It's absolutely un-American", said Milwaukee resident Big John Eatmore.
Senator (S)Obama took advantage of the fast-food crisis by stating that previous administrations had contributed to the bitterness and resentment of Americans by not ensuring there was an inexhaustible supply of trans-fatty foods.
Hillary Clinton said she had been forced to "use my six-shooters to bring down a couple of ducks so I could feed Bill and Chelsea".
All over the nation vigilante squads have been raiding fast-food outlets and emptying them of their supplies. In Mississippi, Alabama, New Mexico and Florida protest marches were held demanding a return of all triple cheese-bacon burgers, spicy double-fried wings, deeep-dish pizzas, chilli-cheese dogs, pulled pork po'boys and thick cut salted fries.
President George Bush went on tv to talk to the nation: "We are in the throes of a major food crisis. Our Constitution guarantees us the right to overeat fast foods. As a matter of precaution I am today declaring a code-red emergency and calling out the National Guard."
