Windsor Castle - (ReUterus & Royal Ass Mess): France's first Madame Carla Brunei Sarkozy and UK Tory leader David Cameron were named today as the biological parents of the Pretender to the Throne's heir of the dog apparent.
That was the gist of the French state visit's cover-up agenda today as Nicholas Sarkozy - the Puppet Monarch's son by Nazi war criminal Rudolf Hess - and his latest gargoyle spouse dined off Windsor Castle's finest royal Sevres porcelain using gold and silver cutlery cutlery commissioned for the 1837 wedding of Queen Victoria in the Castle's magnificent St George's Hall.
And what a splendid family cover up it was for the all the world's cameras as Carla's birth mother - now HRH (sic) Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall - sat poker-stiff next to her fetid French son-in-law Sarkozy, the Queen Scary diamond diadem sitting awkwardly on her big-hair coiffage that hides the swastika tattoo on her scalp.
At the other end of the High Table young Puppet Monarchy tribute artistes Wills and Harry smiled awkwardly as Carla Brunei-Sarkozy waved a little Italo-Gallic wave to the little bastard that she gave up "for England, Harry and St George" shortly after his second birthday after Prince (sic) Charles fatally shot and killed his eldest spawn by Princess Diana.
"Don't smile at her, you twat," Harry hissed at William.
"She may be your real Mom but she's just a slag who's never even sent you an effing birthday card.
"Just do a f**k-off sign at her like you promised!"
Princess Anne is incontinent.
