Mohammed Rahim has been held by the CIA (Center for Interior Artistry) in a desperate attempt to discover the interior design secrets that he used to make Tora Bora the most 'tony' of Al Qaida hide-outs.
CIA Chief of Interior Design, Ponsie Skeme commented on the importance of Rahim's capture: "Oh ma Gawd, when I crawled on my hands and knees into that Afghani hideaway, all I could say was:' Jesus H Christ and Muhammad on the cross!' The drapes alone would make a suicide bomber dream of the Garden of Earthly Delights. Never mind whether the righteous get virgins or raisins, that interplay between carpet and ottoman was magical enough to fly me to the moon and back!"
Center of Interior Artistry Director, Bruccce Bevilaqua protested Rahim's transfer to Gitmo: "This is an outrage! First, Gitmo got Al Qaida's best clothes designer, then their premier hair dresser and now this! No wonder Guantanamo Bay swept the Metsies! (the coveted awards for metro-sexsual style)."
