Harry Potter under fire from Ministry of Magic

Funny story written by Tiki Murphy

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

image for Harry Potter under fire from Ministry of Magic
J.K. what have you done?

It appears that the authoress of the Harry Potter series, and her rival religious factions, have come under fire of the Ministry of Magic. It seems that the books on Harry were not Ministry approved, and they are appalled that J.K. would tell the world their secret. They are also upset with the religious factions that demean the wizarding world.

"If the books had just come out, and the muggles read them it would have been no big deal. However, the churches had to get involved. You know how muggles are, if someone in authority tells them not to do something, or in this case believe it, they will. Now not only are we dealing with an influx of muggles trying to get into our schools and exploit us, our Obliviators are trying to modify al those memories," Percy Weasley has been quoted to say.

On top of everything else, the elitism of Hogwarts has come under fire, by the American Ministry of Magic, for the exclusion of American students.

"We have some top rated students here, it isn't fair that they can't get into Hogwarts," says on insider.

It appears that the Ministry of Magic, has been keeping itself separate from the American Ministry. Now that they have been outed, it has formed some tension between the two governments. However, they are in talks to resolve the matter.

J.K. however is having a severe legal battle on her hands. Hogwarts, the Ministry, and James and Lilly Potter are all suing her for using them in her book; Hogwarts, for giving away their location, the Ministry, for outing the wizarding world and the Potters for telling the world they are dead. As well as Lord Voldemort, for painting him in such a bad light.

"I don't know where she got this rubbish that we were dead, or that we even had a son. Not to mention the terrible things she has said against Voldy. It's just not right, she needs to ante up for the disruption she's caused," stated Lilly Potter.

It seems Hogwarts and the Potters had to relocate due to the 'elevation' of wizarding wannabes.

On a Ministry note: the Obliviators are working in unison with Gandolf, and other 'outted' witches and wizards, to restore the secrecy of their world.

In a seperate interview, both Lord Voldemort and Albus Dumbledore are said to be glad that their relationship wasn't brought to light. "I know she told everyone I was gay, and in all honesty that didn't bother me. I am just glad that she left Tom out of this. It would have crushed him," Dumbledore had said. We now know who is officially the brains in that relationship.

All in all, J.K. and the others will have a hard fight on their hands. Let's hope it all works out for the best.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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