Written by Jesus Budda

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

image for Belgian Prostitutes have to pay for sex
These real-life Smurfettes need to f*ck 24/7

The normally quaint small country town of Bolloux (the 'x' is silent) in Belgium has entered the international news spotlight after reports that so desperate are its indigenous prostitute population that they have resorted to paying for sex. And scenes like this have been replicated all across the worlds most depressing and dull nation.

Bolloux's mayor, Bertrand Dipsheete, said that the area needed an urgent cash incentive to attract men to the area.

"The ladies - and Brian, the towns resident cross dressing male slut - are incredibly randy but we just don't get the kind of business that our Dutch neighbors in Amsterdam get."

The area has a population of 600 - and of that number, 589 are legally registered as prostitutes.

"The only males in the village are myself, Brian and the old man who lives down the lane. And he's 96! We cannot continue like this. My cock is worn out".

"We have no money, so the ladies pay us for a quicky. Morning, noon and night I hear them banging on my door. But I turn them away most of the time.

"We get no visitors, no holiday-makers. How are we to survive? C'est tres mauvais, n'est pas?"

Government subsidies during the first and second World War's saw millions of $$$ being pumped into Belgium to create a nation of 'street walkers' to entertain both Aliied troops and Germanic goose-steppers. When those war's ended, Belgium's economy was left crippled and the country had to entirely depend on income from sales of The Smurfs DVD's, Hercule Poirot books and Tintin comics.

But the nations cock-loving populace were left wanting, scouring the streets for a quick 'shag'. Sheep and dildo imports increased dramatically but the sex-tourism which revitalised the Dutch economy never materialised.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
82 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more