Scandal Over X-Rated Postman Pat

Funny story written by Brendon Humperdink

Tuesday, 22 January 2008


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"It's Pat again. He's on another f**king rampage."

The latest series of Postman Pat has caused massive controversy over its adult content. Mothers and fathers have expressed their 'concern' at the level of explicit sex scenes, hardcore swearing and excessive drug taking.

It hasn't stopped there either. A Commons debate has been announced on the future of the previously child friendly show. Labour MP Ken Biggins spoke to about it.

"Does everything have to be so graphic in that show? Its sickening, absolutely sickening. And as for that long nose of Postman Pat... well, I don't know what he was doing with that!"

In the episodes shown on BBC Two yesterday, Pat is seen suggesting to Mrs Goggins if he could "post a present through your letter box" and to the local Greendale whore that there is "a special delivery on its way".

Also, Pat is seen sniffing lines of cocaine with Ted Glen and gets so smacked they take part in a farting competition. He alto tells a villager to stuff their parcels up their "f***ing arse". Violence is also an issue of concern in the programme, as Pat is seen battering local school teacher Mr Pringle to a pulp with a meat pie.

A spokeswoman for the BBC told that it was "harmless".

"Its teaching the kids something new that they don't understand," she claimed.

However, there are criticisms saying the BBC are keeping it on air because its drawing in more viewers than ever before. Viewing figures were up by 116% to previous episodes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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