Scotland Yard Finds Jack the Ripper Killed Benazir Bhutto

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Friday, 4 January 2008

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image for Scotland Yard Finds Jack the Ripper Killed Benazir Bhutto
The alleged murder weapon

ISLAMABAD (FMLiveWire) - Scotland Yard has announced that after exhaustive investigation, it's detectives have concluded that the notorious Jack the Ripper assassinated Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan, although this finding raises more questions than answers.

The world's most famous police squad decided to pin the rap on Jack the Ripper because the political murder was completely baffling and blaming the Ripper "was better than finding that no one did it."

President Pervez Musharraf welcomed on Friday the finding by the Yard since it cleared his administration of the opposition leader's assassination, which happened under the watchful eye of his intelligence and security service in its stronghold of Rawalpindi, also home of his army headquarters.

A hurried autopsy of Benazir conducted by Scotland Yard allegedly found multiple stab wounds to her body and no evidence of gunshot wounds or damage from an explosion.

The Yard claims that the Ripper "was likely hiding in the back of Bhutto's car somewhere."

This official finding that Bhutto's death was due to Jack the Ripper has been met with widespread disbelief and outrage.

The United States which has propped up Musharraf's brutal dictatorship vetoed a potentially embarrassing UN probe of the assassination.

Jack the Ripper is an alias given to an unidentified serial killer of prositutes in London, England in the latter half of 1888. The name is taken from a letter to a news agency by someone claiming to be the murderer, published at the time of the killings.

Scotland Yard failed to solve those murders also.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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