Pope trolls Hellfire Club chatrooms, appoints Archbishop Fergus McShergar as Cardinal

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 24 November 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Pope trolls Hellfire Club chatrooms, appoints Archbishop Fergus McShergar as Cardinal
MrShergar was pissed as usual during the anointing ceremony

Vatican Shitty - (Ass Mess): "And I will make you fissures (sic) of men!" were the immortal words of the P2 Lodge grand wizard and Bishop of Rome as he deftly anointed the trembling lips, foreheads, breasts and bodily orifices of his new church princes at St Peter's Basilica today.

Pope Ratzinger has installed 24 new cardinals in a specially convened Consistory after 18 months of trolling satanic internet chatrooms "for some real talent".

"His Holiness has had to cast his rod deep into the murky depths to find this lot," a theological source said today.

"Take that Irish git, Archbishop Fergus McShergar, newly anointed Cardinal of County (sic) Louse.

"Last time he was in the news was when he nearly set on fire the entire congregation of St Dimwits after a mysterious explosion in the bishoprick's incense burner," a church spokesman said.

Northern Ireland Secretary Shaun Woodward congratulated Cardinal McShergar:

"He is a man of great liquid capacity and an insatiable thirst," Woodward said today.

"I know that his elevation to the College of Cardinals will see liquor sales rocket in the Republic, not to mention a massive increase in recreational bong activity in the Seven Counties."

Cardinal McShergar has made no comment yet but is expected to sober up in time to reply in his weekly column in the appropriate internet sites.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more