Battle Of The Sexes Continues, At The Mall

Funny story written by tzdan

Saturday, 10 November 2007

image for Battle Of The Sexes Continues, At The Mall
According to the report, women would rather chug beers with their buddies than shop.

NEW YORK - Both men and women shop, a lot, but a report commissioned by the Consumer's Association of America found some surprising differences between the sexes in terms of how we shop.

"We found that women tend to view shopping as a task, with at direct objective. Men, on the other hand, tend to view shopping more as a leisurely outing," said Brenda Davis of the CAA. "Women want to go in to the store, find what they are looking for, and get out. Men, however, see shopping as a leisurely outing. They enjoy browsing the aisles, perusing the items, and taking in everything that each boutique has to offer."

Robert Brent, an avid shopper, was not at all surprised about the CAA's findings. "I am a guy, and I just love shopping, especially for shoes. All of my boy friends love it too, we always get together for coffee and just dish about the things we bought, or have seen and want to buy. We can spend hours talking shopping. My girlfriend, though, can't seem to stand it. I want to look at scented candles and he just stands there looking impatient."

Brent's girlfriend, Charlene Theoren, wasn't surprised either. "He wants me to enjoy looking at hand lotion and bath stuff with him. Shopping is a necessity, not a leisure activity. And besides, he would never do the things I want to do, like sit down and try to enjoy a football game, or go out for beers with the girls."

The report focused only on the habits and attitudes of shoppers, and could offer no explanations as to why women are so much more damn interested in playing sports, drinking beer, watching sports, playing fantasy sports, or playing sports video games than shopping.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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