McCanns "dip into" Madeleine funds for boob jobs

Funny story written by Jesus Budda

Tuesday, 30 October 2007


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It wasn't me

Madeleine McCann's parents used a fund established to help search for the missing girl to pay for plastic surgery and breast enhancement, a family spokesman said on Tuesday.

Madeleine's parents, Kate and Gerry McCann - both doctors - have stopped working so that they can continue to search for their little daughter, who disappeared during a vacation in Portugal's Algarve region in early May of this year. The family has so far been unsucessful in their hunt - possibly because they are looking in Britain and every other nation rather than the damn place she was last seen.

"The fund has always had the ability to assist the family financially if necessary, and they've only used it to pay for two cosmetic surgery operations, earlier this year," said the spokesman, Billy Liar. "After they were made arguido (suspects) they stopped splashing the cash, which was a mutual decision on the part of the fund and the McCanns".

"They were very pleased with their new breasts" he said, "the family of Jonbenet Ramsey did the same thing years ago so I don't see what all the fuss is about".

The "Find Madeleine" fund has raised nearly $5 million and well known faces such as JK Rowling and sports stars like soccer gimp David Beckham have added their voices to the appeal.

Portuguese police have named a British man, Gary Glitter, and Madeleine's parents as formal suspects, but have not filed any charges. The McCanns deny involvement and are now blaming the whole thing on the holiday complex's butler, Mr. Pedro.

"The butler did it", said Gerry on his blog yesterday before adding, "and my breasts looked great in our latest newspaper photos, absolutely smashing!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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