Marion Jones guilty plea discloses method of discovery of steroids use: caught exiting the men's restroom at the Federal building

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 6 October 2007

image for Marion Jones guilty plea discloses method of discovery of steroids use: caught exiting the men's restroom at the Federal building
Marion Jones confesses after she is caught; says she's sorry for the lies and deception; faces 10 years behind bars

Los Angeles, California - FBI agents became suspicious of Marion Jones' consistent denials that she did not use steroids during the 2000 Sydney Olympics but then they received copies of letters she sent to family and friends admitting as much. However, their specious were only confirmed when during a break in the interview being conducted by federal agents, she was caught existing the men's restroom at the Federal building in downtown Los Angeles.

"We were ready to let her go, believing the letters were forgeries," said special FBI field agent, Frank Gonzales. "She was that convincing, and I've been with the agency for over 20 years."

Federal agents got their big break in the case when during the interview Jones asked if she could use the restroom.

"That was our lucky break because we were finished with the interview and ready to let her go," said federal agent, Gonzales. "I mean for good, case closed, when she asked to use the bathroom."

Just seconds away from walking out scot-free, federal agents directed Jones to the restroom down the hall from the interrogation room

"No one really paid much attention when she walked into the men's room at first," said federal agent Gonzales. "You know, sometime the women's restroom is out of service and from time to time women use the men's room. It's not that uncommon."

Apparently, federal agents became alarmed when reports of men coming out of the restroom complained of being sexually harassed by a tall attractive athletic looking woman using a urinal and challenging men to whip theirs out to see whose was bigger.

According the incident reports, the men only became upset and complained when they discovered that Jones' was, in fact, bigger (an unfortunate side effect in women only who use steroids).

Jones was subsequently charged and under going trial when she entered a guilty plea today, currently she is due back in US court on January 11, 2008 for sentencing.

Jones faces up to 10 years in federal prison for lying to federal agents, although Martha Stewart got considerably less sentence for the same conviction.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more