Britain will have a new swimming hero at next years Olympics and that someone will be "Eddie the Eel", formerly known as "Eddie the Eagle".
Eddie, the country's best loved loser said, "All this bad weather has meant my route to work has been flooded. I saw this as a great opportunity and decided to swim there using my favourite stroke, the Butterfly."
Currently employed as a vision provisions facilitator (he goes around office blocks switching the lights on) Eddie is still as hard up as he was during his last Olympic outing. "Luckily, swimming costumes are a lot cheaper than skis." remarked Eddie as he swam out of BHS. "I may be as mad as an eel but I have Olympic experience and also plan to start from the 10 metre diving board which will give me a big early lead."
Eddie then inflated his armbands and resumed his training up the high street.