Man who was granted immortality "Bored"

Funny story written by Afishlips

Sunday, 9 September 2007

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Johnson age 450

Edwin Johnson, a man who cannot die as a result of a magic wish is reportedly "bored" with his condition.

"I'm 450 years old, and I've gotta say living forever isn't what its cracked up to be. When I made this wish I thought everything would be cool, but I was wrong".

Among the things Johnson dislikes about his circumstance is watching everyone hes ever known age and die while he remains forever young, the constant failure of humans to learn from their mistakes and the constant mind numbing boredom.

Johnson explained that for the first 300 years, "everything was great" having literally all the time in the world. He traveled the world 70 times and wrote 14 novels only to realize he is a terrible writer.

"I finally got around to doing all the things I ever wanted to get around to," he explained. "I cleaned and organized my attic, I volunteered at a soup kitchen, I started making model trains. Then I just started screwing with history to see what would happen. Joan of Arc? I hid in this French broad's room, making voices saying I was God and telling her to lead her people to victory over the English. That was fun to watch, for awhile."

Later Edwin began working at the Vienna art school and played his part in dismissing an up-and-coming artist Adolph Hitler. He was the brainchild behind "new coke", he rode aboard the Mayflower, the Santa Maria, the Titanic, and Apallo 12. Hr once gave president William Henry Harrison a wedgie and he invented bubble wrap.

But, according to Johnson, nothing could hold his interest.

"Its like the Twilight Zone," he lamented, "a show which I was on. Twice."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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