West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Idaho REPUBLICAN Senator Jeff Craig who just resigned in disgrace because of an arrest for LEWD and LACIVIOUS behavior and Florida REPUBLICAN Senator Mark Foley who resigned last year for LEWD and LACIVIOUS behavior have announced they are running for president and VICE president in 2008 on the REPUBLICAN ticket.
At first, the two REPUBLICANS were going to run on the Gays Against God party ticket but then decided to run on the REPUBLICAN ticket because the REPUBLICAN party more closely reflects their moral stand on things. In fact the REPUBLICAN reflects their moral stand precisely.
The two also announced that they will get married and honeymoon in San Franthisco. If they win the presidential race Foley will be the first First Lady to actually be a "man".
The first thing they will do if elected will be to make San Franthisco the permanent location for all future REPUBLICAN party conventions. The second thing they will do will be to move the capital from Washington DC to San Franthisco.
They will continue to fight gay marriage and denounce the gay life style even if elected as the first two REPUBLICANS to embrace the gay way of life. They both continue to deny they are gay and will continue to do so.
This reporter was shocked to discover that these two REPUBLICANS were actually members of the little known REPUBLICAN football league for men only. It turns out the Craig is a tight end and Foley is a wide receiver.
Jeff Craig has two first names.
In other news Webster's dictionary has announced that Craig's picture will be placed next to the word "LIAR" and Foley's picture will be placed next to the word "PERVERT".
Also for the first time the word REPUBLICAN will be shown as being synonymous with the word HYPOCRITE.