Written by Jean Le Fete

Friday, 10 August 2007

image for John Cleese Denounces the Name "Virgin America" Airlines
"There's nothing virginal about America," says Cleese.

London - John Cleese is speaking out against the new branch of Virgin Airlines, calling Virgin American a "sham".

"Well there's really nothing 'Virginal' about the bloody Americans now is there?" said Cleese by telephone, "I mean here you go those young tarts like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, going around embarrassing their parents, shaving their heads and showing their arses. They should change the name to 'Slut American'."

When asked if he would fly on Virgin American, if given a ticket Cleese responded, "No I wouldn't. We British have principals, I mean just look at our Queen. She visited your President Bush and I believe he insulted her by inferring she was around during your alleged War for Independence, which we never really said was over by the way, but she remained dignified. She never brought up the fact that you American rebels actually lost. In other words you bastards are still a colony and its time you started behaving better!"

Cleese then complained about other American misbehaviour. "Half the colony is now foreign owned! Japan owns a lot of land. Britain has actually had to buy back great chunks. You're in debt up to your ears to the Chinese. I mean hell in 50 years you'll be part of Asia!"

Virgin American began flights between New York and Los Angelos this week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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