American Airlines to Remove Toilets From All Flights

Written by Jean Le Fete

Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for American Airlines to Remove Toilets From All Flights
Goodbye Johnny!

In yet another cost saving move,American Airlines is removing all toilets from their aircraft, accept for one to be used by flight crew only. First class passengers will have to pay $5 per trip for the priviledge of using the flight crew's Johnny and those in coach will, "just have to hold it," says an AA spokesperson on condition of anonymity.

"People don't realize how expensive it is to operate an aircraft and the bathrooms, next to fuel, are the most expensive aspect. So they'll just have to hold it, or they can purchase a little container from us that straps to the leg and has a tube to....well you get the picture. If they have to do a number 2, they are just SOL."

Other airlines are in the processs of considering similar moves. Southwest Airlines has a more humourous take. "We intend to have contests to see who can hold it the longest," said a Southwest official, "we'll award an extra snack box to the winner. The loser, well hopefully they'll have a change of clothes in their carry-on."

So good luck in the wild blue yonder, you might want to consider taking the train.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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