Muslim Cleric "Saying Nasty Things About Westerners"

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for Muslim Cleric "Saying Nasty Things About Westerners"
'Their man in Afghanistan'

Prison officers working at a jail in Worcestershire where a radical Muslim cleric is being held have said that they suspect him of saying "nasty spiteful things" about Westerners, and about English people in particular.

Staff at Long Lartin prison say that high-ranking al-Qaeda operative Abu Qattada, who, before his incarceration, spouted rubbish at the Finsbury Park mosque in north London, "doesn't like English people one bit".

Inmate Qattada, once described as "our man in London" by Osama bin Laden, has been allowed to read religious prayers to other Muslim ingrates, but officers at Long Lartin have protested that they can't understand his "mumbo jumbo".

Strangley-named Governor Ferdie Parker said:

"It's all in one of these foreign languages. He could be saying anything!"

His staff back him to the hilt.

Wing PO Albert Turnkey said:

"It's the way he looks at you, the body language and son on. I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him, and I can throw him a good eight feet!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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