Obesity bad, but good for the Climate

Funny story written by FLUFFY DETRITUS

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

image for Obesity bad, but good for the Climate

A study sponsered by the food industry has revealed a surprising result - Obese people help the planet. Apparently, what is bad for the individual, may be beneficial for the environment.

Every large person you see represents the same weight of carbon locked up in one place. If they all lost that excess weight the resulting release of carbon and heat calories from the exercise would propel the planet into instant climactic shock, all those billions of sweat droplets evaporating into the air would overload any amount of tree planting we could ever attempt. The heat calories alone would lift global temperature by on average 3 degrees.

It is estimated that 64.5 percent of adult Americans over 20 are overweight and 30.5 percent are obese; these are serious amounts of carbon locked away. Rather than contributing to global warming most Americans are in fact trying their best to fight it on an individual basis. Every super size meal, each super pizza is a meal to aid the planets weather systems, they risk their circulation to help ours.

So next time you are out and the person beside you eats their own body mass as a starter, don't comment just commend, say a BIG thank you for saving our planet and buy them dessert -- they'll thank you as much as we should be thanking them the unsung heroes of global warming..

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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