Written by carina-eta

Thursday, 7 June 2007

image for America Develops Giant Teddy Bears For Battlefield
Robocrap Vista Version

The US military has today confirmed that it is developing giant teddy bears to carry injured soldiers away from the battlefield.

The cute fluffy little teds known as The Battlefield Extraction Assist Robot (BEAR) can scoop up even the heaviest of casualties and carry them out of harm's way.

New Scientist magazine reports that the "friendly appearance" of the robot is designed to put the wounded at ease.

President Bush today commented, " Yes, enemies of terror will quake with fear as our giant robotic teddies carry our wounded and are deployed in battle to defend our country."

The giant teddies may also be issued with weapons at a later date provided they sign a contract in which they agree not to evolve artificial intelligence and takeover the world.
Bush said,"We don't mind the world being taken over by credible robots, but giant teddy bears gunning down humans is unthinkable-you have to consider the movie rights!"

A giant robotic teddy today commented that Bush had signed a similar contract several years ago to little effect.

The U.S has also taken out patents recently on giant robotic Garfields, however it has missed the patents on Hello Kitty and Snoopy as they have been taken up already by Japan.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: US Army




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
39 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more