Written by Showtime

Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for Religious Artefacts - In A Store Near You
A piece of the true cross, just £4.99

The Catholic Church was last night slammed by critics after announcing its plans to make many of its most revered religious artefacts available for purchase in supermarkets the length and breadth of the country.

Pope Benedict called the scheme "an amazing way to make money", and announced the artefacts will be on sale for prices as cheap as £1.99. Details of the artefacts being sold are sketchy, though sources say the Turin Shroud will be available for purchase from all good ASDA's, while the Holy Grail is being sold in Sainsbury's, both instore and online.

This money raising scheme is not the first idea that the Pope has suggested to have scron poured upon it. In January of last year, he suggested the Vatican City to be converted to a theme park "in the manner of Disney Land", and in August 2006, he "modernized" communion by changing the Bread and Wine to Spritzer and Chiabatta.

Whether or not the plan to sell artefacts is okayed remains to be seen, Pope Benedict seems hell bend on raising cash for Catholicism in whatever way he can.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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