Written by Martin Gooseflesh

Monday, 23 April 2007

image for Death of Boris Yeltsin Triggers Russian Economic Collapse
Boris liked the odd drop now and then

The Russian Federation is in turmoil today after it was announced from the Kremlin that former president Boris Yeltsin has died at the age of 76.

Mr. Yeltsin, who brought the curtain down on the Soviet Union and introduced democracy to Russia, had a history of heart trouble and died of heart failure, a medical spokesperson said.

But news of the death has sent the Russian vodka industry into a tailspin. Mr. Yeltsin was known to like a tipple and it is feared that the industry will not be able to cope with his demise.

Spokesman for the Kremlin, Alexander Smirnov confirmed the reports of Mr. Yeltsin's death but refused to say more however sources close to Mr. Smirnov said:

"With Boris dead the vodka industry will go into meltdown. Boris was the industry's best customer, buying millions of bottle each year. We simply cannot cope with the loss of his custom. This will mean the collapse of the entire economic fabric of the whole country. Millions will starve - it will be worse than the darkest days of communism."

Russian billionaire, Roman Abramovich was asked to comment on the situation but was unable to stop laughing long enough to to speak.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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