World to End in 24 Hours

Funny story written by d howdy

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

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Tony Blair has just announced to the country that the world is to come to a dramatic end in less than 24 hours.

At a press conference from number 10 Downing Street, Blair confirmed that scientists had located a giant meteor the size of a small planet on a trajectory headed directly for earth.

"It is with the utmost regret that I have to inform the people of this great country that this planet on which we inhabit will, in less than 24 hours, be no more. A meteor the size of Uranus is on a trajectory in line with our planets orbit. I am afraid there is nothing we can do. We could not do as they do in the movies and nuke it because we do not have the resources to do so as they have all been spent on the war in Iraq."

When asked whether or not this was all just a smokescreen invented by the PM to make his last moments in office non-Iraq related the prime minister retorted, "Absolutely not. I believe that what we did in Iraq was right and necessary yet under the current circumstances, pointless."

When asked by another reporter whether or not he now admitted the war on Iraq was pointless the PM replied, "Look, whatever we did in Iraq we did for the right reasons. I think what is more important is the fact that we are faced by a giant piece of rock which is going to obliterate our planet in 23 hours and counting. There is no escape. Wouldn't you all rather be spending what time you have left with your loved ones?"

It was at this point a reporter from a well known newspaper asked, "Are you saying, Prime Minister, that Iraq, its policies and its people weren't that important to you?"

"NO," Blair cried. He was obviously feeling the pressure of us sharp reporters and was showing visible signs of cracking. "Iraq was and still is very important to me. But considering that this time tomorrow there will be no tomorrow I think your questions are a little short-sighted."

(If I can editorialise for a second), when it was my turn to ask the important question of the day, I yelled out: "Why are you trying to gag the media on issues of Iraq?"

I shared a smug smile of self satisfaction with my fellow reporters and waited for Blair to worm his way out of that little beauty of a question.

It was obviously all a little too much for Blair. He shook his head, waved his hand dismissively and turned away with his tail between his legs.

I then proceeded to go down to the Jolly Nelson with a reporter from The Dagenham Gazette for a Guinness.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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