The Vatican -- Today the Lamb of God, held in various sacred halls by the catholic church for over a millennium and long-presumed to be in a vegetative state, surprised priests and bishops alike when it suddenly came to its feet, took a long look ar...
After further volcanic eruptions at Krakatoa, and Monday's 'unrest' at Mount Etna in Sicily, it's been confirmed that God has had just about as much as he can stand, as has decided to put a stop to it all, with the End of the World. Last week's un...
An untraceable message appearing randomly on Facebook and Instagram accounts is asking people to leave the planet. "Thanks for everything" the message begins "but I shall not be in need of your services any longer so please leave" The name...
Last night, the whole of Europe was brought to a standstill when, exactly at midnight, a white-haired, bearded figure appeared on every television set on the continent. Crowds poured out of pubs and restaurants, many of them hysterical; public transport came to a halt as millions gathered in city squares and churches. The Pope appealed for calm; but nobody was listening to him. The followi...
Press Secretary for President Obama's administration, Karl Von Mitty Munchausen announced today to at gathering of journalists and reporters invited to a White House tickets-only news conference the following: "General Martin Dempsey, chairman of...
Washington D.C. - The United States' National Aeronautics and Space Administration, NASA, has retracted the warning it issued yesterday regarding a huge asteroid's imminent impact with Earth, which would have led to cataclysmic devastation of the ent...
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM. A report published by the Brussels, Belgium-based International Union of Really Worried Scientists calculates the destructive power of the US Congress as equivalent to an eight-mile wide meteor hitting Earth. The report warns th...
The online poll of 2,000 Brits carried out by EndPoll for online movie provider 'blankbox', revealed that 57% of people were aware of the Mayan prophecy of the apocalypse and 13% confessed to being worried. More than one in four respondents put th...
The end of men is near Listen up, men: the last US election proved very clearly that women aren't going to put up with any more bullshit from men. Not only are there more women than men voting nowadays; but more women are voting for what they want than for what we men want them to want. I know I had a point to make, and that I have muddled it up, but you guys know what I mean already, w...
Asteroid LO0R011 was identified early on Monday morning by the NASA Asteroid Detection Agency (NADA). It's orbit has been calculated to have it land somewhere near Beijing with enough force to wipe out all life on earth except for a cockroach living...
New York - In an emergency appearance today before the United Nations, a team of international scientists reported that the world has ended. The stunning announcement came during a special session of the UN Security Council, during which scientists f...
Disney have been appointed by the UN to organise the End of the World Party on December twenty-first, when many crackpots and religious nutjobs believe that the world will end, because the Mayan calendar runs out. "If the world is going to end," s...
Worried estate agents say they fear a housing price crisis should the world end on either the 21st or 22nd of December 2012 as predicted by the Mayan calendar with some estate agents claiming that many properties could be forced into foreclosure as s...
Firefighters in Colorado and New Mexico are battling wildfires that are moving fast through parched forests, forcing scores of evacuations and destroying or damaging numerous structures. However the fires were started deliberately at the bequest...
"Actress" Lindsay Lohan has contracted the dreaded "zombie virus" but she may have unwittingly found a cure for the epidemic that affects the brain due to her brain not being as developed as other victims. Lohan, 25, was taken to the UCLA Medical...
As predicted by the Mayans, the Lost City of Gold has been discovered, opening the way for the apocalyptic destruction of the planet, as foretold in ancient scriptures. Underneath the thick, virgin rainforest cover in the Mosquitia region of Hondu...
Just two days after it was reported that the "Zombie" virus was not actually a virus, it now turns out that a myriad of non descript "celebrities" whom I have never heard of, have contracted the non-existent virus and are now mindless, flesh eating i...
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