Advocate for the homeless and friend to the poor, Abbé Pierre is reported to have risen from the dead.
French President Chirac and the Cardinal of Paris refused to believe it: "We placed guards at his tomb 24/7! It's Impossible!"
Meanwhile, hoboes and beggars and all manner of human trash have been reporting "Pierre sightings".
Whore turned religious leader and rumored consort of the Abbe' Marie Magdalain, said: "I was just waking in the garden around his grave,you know, just to be near hom and all of a sudden there he was! First I thought he was the groundskeeper but when he called my name and gave me the special, well, he liked to call it the low sign, you know, the opposite of high...he was such a wit! Then I knew it was Petey, my pet name for him. (I love nicknames!)".
Five hundred witnesses have come forward to claim sightings from among his impoverished followers though most of them were way high on some enibriant or another. Church and political officials are still doubtful about the claims.
Privately they are all in agreement about one thing. Pope Benedict XVI summarized it best: "If this poverty pimp is back and in a resurrected state, all people with power and wealth, like me and Jacques, are SCREWED!".