Last night I woke up at about 3 a.m. My Stomach grumbled about how I never feed him and how I never ask him if HE's ready to go to bed.
"I'm tired of this!" He said "Feed me now or you will never sleep!" He growled.
I, too sleepy to argue, got out of bed. My feet hardy hit the floor when I noticed there was a party going on somewhere! I started down the stairs, where the music was louder and noises I'd never heard down there before. All of the lights were on and my radio was at full volume.
Shocked, I followed the noises into my kitchen, looking for the party. Roaches were EVERYWHERE! Some were on my table, where all of my food had been laid out like a king's feast! My yo-yo collection had been set up as tiny tables with roaches pulled up to them while waiter roaches served them.
Match box cars zoomed all over the floor, driven by little roaches with road rage! They had a valet parking area near the counter where they were climbing up to the bar. All along the bar, a casino floor was set up. Fat roaches were dealing cards, rolling dice, and betting cracker crumbs on ant races around my candy dish.
"Come on SWEET TOOTH!" One of them yelled at the winning ant.
The Sink had been filled to the rim with water where it was being used as a giant swimming pool. Large roaches making great laps around it and diving off of the faucet. In the next sink, they were using the dish soap for a foam party in the trash disposal! Along the counter, there was a roach fashion show. Tiny roaches dressed in candy wrappers and twist- ties. My freezer door was wide open. They were Ice-skating on my ice cubes. having snow fights with the freezer fur, and skiing down bags of frost-bitten frozen peas. My microwave had been set up as a disco. A large roach was doing the Hustle on the revolving glass plate under the light. Then, I saw a conga line of roaches, marching across the stove. The leader carrying one of my Shrimp forks as a baton. "Toga! Toga! Toga!" they shouted.
My best bottles of wine had been opened and drained by the toga party roaches, the corks had been set up as bar stools for their party. As I watched, about 6 HUGE roaches carry my new loaf of bread off to the table, my shock wore off and I became angry. "GET OUT!" I shouted. They fled in every direction. And as the Toga pary leader flew into a light socket, I saw the shrimp fork fall onto the counter. I heard him yell "Buzzkiller!" and disappeared.
And that is why I'm sitting, weary, and hungry at my kitchen table, clutching a can of Raid at 4:00 in the morning!
