Luxembourg Goes Nuclear

Funny story written by Dan H.

Monday, 1 December 2003

image for Luxembourg Goes Nuclear
The power Luxembourg wishes to use to show that it is not an

Vienna, Austria- It was announced Wednesday during a caucus meeting between the United Nations Security Council and delegates from the petite west European country of Luxembourg that "Luxemburg is going nuclear".

"After years of suppression from the neighboring countries of Belgium, France, and Germany, Luxembourg will no longer bend over and take it," the Luxembourg representative declared (name disclosed, but nametag read Guillaume). "The only way to get noticed is to break the mother of all United Nations rules, go nuclear."

Luxembourg a small, smaller than state of Rhode Island, European country can be considered the Canada of Europe. Years of neglect and labeled as the Neighbors to the North or the Great White North has frustrated the Canadian peoples, leaving the United States of America believing that Canada should become its 51st state. The same problem exists in Europe. Germany strolled through Luxembourg in both World Wars, just proving that it should be usurped by a larger, more authoritative nation, possibly Poland.

The whole idea for a nuclear Luxembourg was concocted when the Grand Duke Henri attended a motivational seminar for small and weak countries.
"They told us [other small and weak countries] that we had to assert ourselves as a global power and to make the current global super powers uneasy," Grand Duke, powerful circa 2000, said.

The seminar, held last year during the week of March 1-5, was hosted by ex-Panama dictator, Manuel Antonio Moreno Noriega, 69. Delegates from the Republic of Iraq, the Islamic Republic of Iran, the Democratic Peoples Republic of North Korea, Luxembourg, Rwanda, and Alaska were present.

"It was a big success and I hope to do it next year," and overjoyed Noriega said, "I hope that these countries become a success story in their own right and I hope I made a difference."

The United Nations passed Resolution LU2203115 declaring Luxembourg as a belligerent nation. In doing so, the following conditions are paramount:

  • All United Nations country members are no longer allowed to trade with Luxembourg until the country renounces its entire ominous doings and allows the members of the United Nations Atomic Energy sub-committee to inspect.
  • An embargo on sheep feed shall be in play from 29 November 2003 to when ever the United Nations feels sit.

When notified of LU2203115, the Grand Duke was satisfied, but responded, "Much more is to be done. Then he chuckled in a patented villain chuckle."


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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