Penis-Waving Condemned By International Teacher

Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 10 November 2018


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Changwon, South Korea. Thomas K. Pinley, 27, earned his Master's Degree in Social Studies and Education at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse before he flew to South Korea in order to begin his new career as an International Educator.

After a successful phone interview with the head teacher at the Park Jung English Academy, Mr. Pinley took a brave step forward into an adventurous new lifestyle in which he hoped to inspire others and learn from them as well.

Finding himself rather isolated on weekends in a country where nobody could understand his language, however, Thomas often went to foreigner pubs on weekends in order to socialize with other English-speaking teachers.

Because drunkenness can sometimes overtake extremely lonely individuals who hang out in bars constantly while living in foreign countries, he noticed that 'silly' and 'obscene' behavior would often occur.

"I take my profession very seriously," Thomas told reporters. "It is my job as an educator to enlighten my students and to make sure that they develop into decent human beings as well as productive citizens. In order to do this, it is imperative that I serve as an adult role model for them," he added.

One night, a bunch of male teachers got so incredibly drunk that they took their pants down and started waving their penises at each other in front of the hallway camera as many shocked and horrified Koreans walked by.

Thomas confessed that he felt very agitated with what they were doing.

"It was no way for professional teachers to behave. In my personal opinion, it is both shameful and highly unethical to be responsible for educating children and to be acting this way on the weekend. As authority figures and leaders in our students’ lives, we must be morally and professionally upstanding…and this responsibility extends to our personal lives outside of the classroom as well.

When asked what he did about the situation, Thomas said that he pulled up his pants and walked away.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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