NK - After last weeks failed missile launch hit Kim Jong Un in the buttocks, he has been issuing coded messages. The NSA has finally decoded the messages.
Dr. D. Phase of the NSA pubic relations department held a press conference today to release the text of the decoded messages.
They all read as follows:
URGENTLY WANTED: protologist to remove a large missile from the butt of fat man. We can't afford to pay you but we will let you drive one our tanks and even shoot the gun. Must be willing it to put up with a lot of crap.