Written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 1 April 2017

image for Bicette strike multi-billion deal in China after beards are banned!
No chance in China to spread the word with that beard!

The Chinese government has banned men wearing beards in the province of Xinjiang! Also, women wearing veils have been banned too, and the streets are looking pretty empty!

However, detecting a superb possibility to expand their global operations, US shaving giant, Bicette, struck a multi-billion deal with the Chinese government and now have exclusive rights to sell their products to the bearded male population in the province. Also, the Chinese government are planning a nationwide beard ban, and Bicette have exclusive rights to sell their blades, razors and even after-shave, with pretty-boy, Lewis Hamilton, as their flagship, clean-shaven icon heading advertising!

A Bicette spokesman divulged the reason behind the ban to the world and surprisingly it is not quite what the Chinese government said; here is the true reason told to star Jagggedone's CIA (cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, BUM-FLUF-HOO?:

"Well it's like this, with all due respect to the Chinese, male dominated government, who said, we are hoping that beardless men will not turn into radical Muslims, and veiled women cannot hide their suicide bomb-belts anymore under their veils. We asked females living in Xinjiang, and they told the government that male beards tickling their pussies during oral sex gave them orgasms much quicker than men copulating with their tiny Asian penis's and because the birth rate is China is rapidly decreasing, the government decided 'a penis in the Vajayjay is better than a beard in the Hoo-Hee!"

There you have it! Bicette have even offered lady-shavers for free so Chinese females can enjoy pubic-hair and beardless free sex without getting tickled first!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: China, Beards




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