Top scientists yesterday confirmed reports that the sky would fall in. The grim news comes months after the disaster was first muted by leading environmentalist Dr Chicken Little.
Dr Little had suggested the idea in April but had been dismissed as a crank. He told our reporters last night, "I am pleased that the world has finally realised that I was right all along but obviously I am disappointed that we are all going to die."
World leaders were today flying out to an emergency summit in Geneva in a bid to avert the natural disaster.
"It may be possible to evacuate about 1% of the most intelligent and good looking people in space rockets and for them to start a colony of superhumans on the moon," said Dr Little, speaking from his home in Gstaad, Switzerland. "But the other 99% of the population will either be wiped out or revert to living underground as a race of mutant mole people."
U2 frontman, Bono, said yesterday, "This is a terrible tragedy for the world, what with people becoming mutant mole people and whatnot but on the upside, I will be living on the moon with Pamela Anderson."
