In a bid to curb spiralling public spending and rejuvenate the inner cities, the Government has revealed plans to privatise orphanages.
It is believed that American sportswear giant 'Chaddidas' has expressed an interest in the scheme and is keen to snap up several run down, inner city children's homes.
CEO of Chaddidas, Mr J.P Bastard said yesterday, "We have been utilising orphans and the terminally ill for many years in places like Romania and Thailand and have been delighted with the work they have done in our boot stitching programme. If the English orphans are half as good as the grubby little f**kers in those backward countries, we're onto a winner."
Mr Bastard praised the Government for it's progressive thinking and said that Chaddidas planned to completely renovate all the buildings with razor wire, searchlights and armed guards.
"We plan to offer work to all those filthy little guttersnipes and in return, they will have the satisfaction of working flat out for twenty hours a day for some gruel and a good hammering with a rubber pipe."
Mr Blair said today that the pilot programme would be run in only the most deprived and run down shit holes in Britain. So nobody outside Liverpool has anything to worry about.
