Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras addressed the United Nations General Assembly to announce a formal declaration of war against all the other member nations of the European Union.
He justified the aggressive military action by citing Greece's superior philosophical authority based on the policies of Plato, Socrates, and Aristotle. And his nation's long tradition of machismo in defense of its collective ego, which is enshrined in their constitution.
In a preemptive strike against his number one arch-nemesis, Angela Merkel, Tsipras sent 300 bare-chested warriors to invade Germany brandishing only swords and shields. Because that's all the weaponry they could afford.
