Tehran, Iran - The Islamic State Supreme Caliph has issued a fatwa against the Government of Iran for succumbing to lily-livered liberalism about jail time for hos.
His Supreme Altitude Shaikh Kamel Shatt el-Arab has mouthed off in the case of Iranian-British postgrad student Ghoncheh Ghavami, jailed for 12 months for outraging public morals.
Her crime?
"Getting caught red-handed trying to attend a men's volleyball game," a spokesperson for His Altitude said, "a crime normally punishable by a thousand lashes, amputation and optional beheading."
Under strict Sharia Law women are barred for life from watching men playing sport in case the excitement breaks their hymens and causes an orgasm.
Women are also barred from listening to football on the radio because it tends to interfere with their menstrual cycles and stuff.
Commenting on the fatwa a lawyer close to the Ghavami case said, "It's all a load of fundamentalist bollocks."
Ayatollah Rough Son Johnny is 69.
