Following a meeting with the lovely humane representatives of the "Iraq Suddenly It's Summer"(ISIS) campaign at a 6-star hotel in Qatar, Hamas, the internationally renown tunnel manufacturers have agreed to change their name in time for the 2014 Iranian Festival of Tunneling to be held in Tehran later in the year.
Having been suggested by ISIS that members of Hamas could face beheading (if they were to build tunnels too low), amputation (if they were to catch their limbs in a trap door) or stoning (if a tunnel was to collapse), by mutual agreement, they have re-branded their organisation as Vegitariass.
Their spokesperson, Fatima Witrockets said that they have applied to Europe for the ISO131313 environmental standard. She said that "having bowed to pressure from ISIS, they had unanimously agreed by a shooting to nil to change their name".
In order to retain their credentials, Vegitariass will have to ensure they use only solar power to light their tunnels, biomass in their rockets and make sure that all cement is organic.
Sheik Italabout, the PR spokeskiller for ISIS said: "For a while now, we have felt that having "Ham" in "Hamas" was just not kosher enough and they didn't want to further risk people calling them "Ham-Ass" as this could be a double insult, especially to members of the Equus Africanus Asinus tribe. The Western infidels also have Ham in their salads, and this is definitely kafir and not on.
"This really is about the war on fat, or fatwah, as we call it. Innit."