Dublin, Ireland - The Irish Institute of Potato Technology announced today that they have developed a new weapons defense system known as "The Spud Missile". This system is classified as a non-lethal defense system designed to deter and distract, would be intruders, rather than blowing them into tiny bits or liquidating them.
Developers of the potato based missile, describe it as a projectile armed with numerous outrageously large spuds. When an intruder is targeted, the missile is launched and the spuds discharge on impact. Spuds have long been used as personal protective devices in Ireland.
Maren O'Leary of No. 5 Pitchers Lane, Dublin, thwarted a would be attack by hurling a large spud at the head of an intruder. "I bonked that bad boy right in the beezer with a two pound spud and knocked him right out of his socks," she reports.
As it appears this intruder picked on the wrong woman. Ms. O'Leary won first place in the annual Potato Pitch All Stars game sponsored by Mickey's Pubs (a chain store of Guinness providers) in March 2006.
"I'll never under estimate a woman armed with a potato again," the criminal told police. "If I lived in America, I could sue her."