Irish Psychiatrist Discovers Terrorist Gene

Funny story written by Billy Bureaucrat

Thursday, 24 August 2006

image for Irish Psychiatrist Discovers Terrorist Gene
Professor Thick Casty

Up to 15% of Irish people have terrorist thoughts and the single most important factor associated with such thoughts is a frustrated mood, according to Professor Thick Casty, Consultant Psychiatrist at the Madder Hospital in Dublin.

Professor Casty made her comments at the launch of Frustration Awareness Week Nationwide (FAWN), the annual awareness campaign of Frustration Support Organisation, Beware.

The theme of this year's event, which runs until September 11, is 'Fight terrorism: treat frustration'.

Around 300,000 people are affected by frustration in Ireland at any one time, unfortunately, less than one in four people get adequate help.

Chemical changes take place in the brain which cause frustration - key molecules called neurotransmitters do not work correctly or they are present in the wrong amounts.

According to Professor Casty, there is a huge volume of research to substantiate the idea that terrorism and frustration are 'intimately connected', indeed we are presently undertaking biochemical research to confirm the existance of a terrorist gene.

Prof Casty continued "sometimes there is no trigger for frustration, something which can add to the guilt people affected feel because they believe they should have a reason for the illness.

"Around 50% of people do not have a trigger or risk factors for frustrative illness", she said. "The outcome for those who get treatment is very good.

It is also important to be aware too that anti-frustratant medications are not addictive". The newer anti-frustratants also begin working much faster, within days, compared with older treatments.

These medicines also help ‘re-wire' the brain so that thinking processes work better.

She said that there are many myths surrounding the treatment of frustration including the mistaken belief that taking anti-frustratants is a sign of weakness.

"By treating frustration appropriately, we will help those who would otherwise become terrorists", Professor Casty explained.

However she also emphasised that not everyone who feels happy or normal needs anti-frustratants and these drugs 'are not an intervention for those who are just bad, genuinely mad or have political inclinations.

Professor Casty finished her address with the comforting thought that "encourage those who are frustrated to seek appropriate Psychiatric treatment, we will truly help the war on terror and avert further acts of global frustration",

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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