Spokespersons for John "Leap-to-it!" Kerry and others clarify Syria

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 29 August 2013

image for Spokespersons for John "Leap-to-it!" Kerry and others clarify Syria
"I didn't wait for the UN back in 03 with Iraq, and I wouldn't wait for it now"

Anonymous spokespersons for the spokespersons of sundry US authorities, as with Biden, Kerry, Rice, et al have admitted some faces are red and some are stuttering and spluttering.

Pacing a White House carpet, President Obama has been observed to stumble. Twice.

Amidst all this, the Chief Spokesperson for the Spokespersons people has stepped forth from an eager group ready to inform the media with the latest intelligence.

That is, "intelligence" as in information.

*As to why the US is so upset over this 1000 Syrian deaths and not-so-upset over the 1000 Egypt deaths recently depends on whether "a red line" has been declared. Or not.

*Surveillance experts acknowledge someone in the Syrian government made phone calls indicating a chemical attack had occurred.

*But who had ordered that attack is not known. It could have been a rogue element from within the Assad regime favoring the rebels as with a runaway General.

*Or it could have been from the rebels themselves who have previously orchestrated chemical attacks.

*New rebel tunnels fuming with terrible fumes have been discovered.

*UN inspectors are now calling for delay until clarification.

A however looms large against the "to attack or not to attack" question.

Because with this however, the Assad regime must be held responsible, no matter what the truth eventually may reveal.

Even if the rebels did it.

The deaths must be avenged--with more deaths.

Moreover, delay does not look good. It violates the "lookin' good" principle of politics, which is foremost amongst all other principles for those who hold office.

Reports indicate a surging and sweeping mood of itchiness is prevailing amidst the American leadership, or has already prevailed. in order to get on with an attack.

Congress too is surging moodily here and there, with the question:

Should we actually require that congress approve a war action, as with the Constitution?

The establishment press is agog with beating the drums for Action! Action!

Meanwhile, advice from former presidents is being sought.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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