Written by The rat

Thursday, 30 March 2006

image for Saddam Hussein Voted World's Sexiest Ex-Statesman
Recent picture of Saddam

It seems the women of the world have fallen for the ex-Iraqi president. In a closely fought, neck and neck contest with runner-up George Bush Snr, Saddam has emerged the winner of this year's "World's Sexiest Ex-Statesman" contest by a mere 3 votes.

The contest was conceived and organised by Condoleeza Rice in co-operation with UNFWA, ( United Nations Frustrated Womens' Association ) of which Laura Bush is this year's president.

In a world-wide poll, to ensure the voting was not rigged in any way, it was administered and overseen by representatives from the Zimbabwean Democratic Front, of which Robert Mugabe is its founder and chief executive.

It has turned out to be an extreme embarrassment for Ms Rice who, for future career considerations, was counting on the title being awarded to the current US president's daddy. It is understood that she has lodged a protest and demanded a re-count claiming a truck-load of voting papers has gone missing somewhere in the Gobi Desert.

Images beamed around the world of Saddam showing a hairy chest, Vidal Sassoon haircut and appearing in a casual open-necked shirt gesticulating to the judge at his trial in Baghdad, have obviously won the hearts of females around the world. Some have reported that he is the spitting image of Clark Gable in his heyday and would be the obvious choice to star in any remake of "Gone with the Wind".

George Bush Snr, however, is said to be flattered at being the second most sexy ex-statesman of 2006 and has been seen carrying trendy outfits out of Armani and Versace clothing stockists and has been talking to Hollywood plastic surgeons in an effort to boost his new found sexy, albeit somewhat over the hill, image.

Also rans in the contest were Boris Yeltsin, Gerhard Schroeder, Bill Clinton, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Mao Tse Tung and Madeleine Albright. Ms Albright was disqualified late into the contest when it was discovered she was of a contradictory gender.

Next year's participants are expected to include Tony Bliar, Jacques Chirac, George W. Bush, Sylvio Berlusconi and Dick Cheney.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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