Radical cleric Abu Qatada says he will go to Jordan

Written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 7 February 2012


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Radical cleric Abu Qatada says he will go to Jordan
Abu Qatada stays anonymous while on Facebook

In a strange turnarond of affairs, the firebrand and radical Muslim cleric, Abu Qatada, has now said that he will happily be sent to Jordan by the British Government.

Mr Qatada, whose name in English means "murdering bastard", was on remand in jail for simply ages as he awaited the result of his appeal to the European Court not to be sent to Jordan.

The learned judges, who always take a long time to reach a decision so that it looks like they have thought long and deeply when in fact it takes them all that time just to grasp what a case is all about, decided that the best thing for Mr Qatada was to go to Jordan.

And suddenly he agreed.

In a statement issued by his office for Public Relations and Bomb Vests, Mr Qatada said:

"I have decided that it is for the best that I go to Jordan. The fact she has quite enormous tits and an arse you can park a motorcycle in, were the main deciding factors. And I would only end up torturing myself if I gave up this opportunity.

"Far more interesting than the four-star service at Belmarsh Prison."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more