Cult's fears for Iran nuke sites ahead of Saturday's total lunar eclipse

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

image for Cult's fears for Iran nuke sites ahead of Saturday's total lunar eclipse
Iran has built its notorious nuke factories along horrific tectonic fault lines

Iran - Sufi mystics living in Iran's dodgy seismic fracture zones fear a Grand Ayatollah's curse on illicit moonshine could trigger a massive quake this weekend.

A powerful total lunar eclipse will see the moon's shadow path cross volatile tectonic plates under Isfahan's Nuclear Technology Center whose high-tech fermentation vats convert standard yellowcake to uranium hexafluoride.

The site lies on the notorious Aden-Owen-Carlsberg Triple (Brew) Junction whose last 5.4-magnitude tremor on 3 March 2008 followed the eclipsed Virgo full moon of 21 February that year.

The quake partially fulfilled the late Grand Ayatollah Khomenei's hex on the breakaway cult whose followers were suspected of dabbling in consumption of replica Danish lager beer.

On Saturday the eclipsed Gemini full moon will be visible directly above the ill-fated uranium distillery which Khomenei once slammed as little better than a vile shebeen.

"Actually, it was a triple hex," an irradiation expert in Iranian brewing technology commented.

Saturday's 18-degrees Gemini occultation takes place at 14.36GMT.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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