Violence in nighttime Paris over Sarkozy money for rubbish and pooh plan

Funny story written by French Marilyn

Friday, 2 December 2011

image for Violence in nighttime Paris over Sarkozy money for rubbish and pooh plan
Dog pooh worth a small fortune in Paris

French police report that there were scenes of violence in the French capital during the night as poor Parisians tried to earn a few Euros.

In the afternoon, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, in a speech in the Mediterranean port city of Toulon, had announced a new measure his government was implementing to make it possible for needy Parisians to earn a living.

The new measure was to be implemented immediately.

The president said that any Parisian picking up rubbish or dog pooh from the city's sidewalks would be remunerated at €5 for each full rubbish bag handed in at any of the city's town halls. However, the rubbish gatherers must have photographic proof that they did indeed pick the rubbish up from a sidewalk. In other words they were not just handing in their own domestic and w.c. wastes.

As soon as the president's speech was broadcast on national television and on the country's radio stations, Parisians working in teams of two - one carrying a large black plastic bin liner, the other a camera or cell phone - began to gather on the streets. Like streetwalkers each team claimed a zone and did not tolerate the presence of other teams in their zone.

The result was chaos which quickly erupted into violence as people living in the suburbs crowded onto the subway to get to central Paris to start picking up rubbish and pooh. Some had their dogs with them to do the necessary for the compulsory photograph.

"We have six fatalities and a hundred seriously hurt individuals because by midnight fighting had broken out all over the city. Some rubbish gatherers even turned up with Kalashnikovs which were responsible for the fatalities," a police spokesperson told our reporter.

One town hall alone is reporting that it now has 2,000 full bin liners which they do not know what to do with. The town hall's windows were smashed when the mayor refused to hand over the money President Sarkozy had promised.

Special riot police are now patrolling the streets of Paris to prevent further violence.

The police have also warned dog owners not to walk their dogs for the foreseeable future because any dog seen on a Paris street, even if on a leash, will be impounded. This will be done even if the dog owner does not have a bin liner, camera or cell phone in his or her possession.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more