Networks Threaten To Cancel Obama

Written by Lucas M

Monday, 25 July 2011


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C. Thomas Howell as Obama

(LSM) - Midway through season three, Obama is facing the possibility of cancellation if the show cannot increase its ratings. The administration has lost many viewers due to the current "Debt Ceiling" story-line, which has alienated the casual viewer, while confusing even the most die-hard followers.

Obama (played by C. Thomas Howell) saw an increase in ratings this past May when the mastermind of 9/11 terror attacks - Osama Bin Laden - was killed off during sweeps week. Since that time, network executives have said, "the White House has continually shown an inability to create captivating story-lines worthy of the public's attention."

Some critics argue Obama's vanilla life-style makes for boring television. Many fondly remember Bill Clinton's nude shower scene from season one of his administration, while others were thoroughly captivated by the shock and awe of George W Bush's on-air male-on-male kiss with Jeb Bush.

Obama, whose contract does not allow nudity, is considered by many to be behind the times, placing too much emphasis on nuance and humanity in a market that demands blood, finger-pointing and finger-banging.

Other critics argue the ratings drop is a direct result of the "Laura Palmer Effect," which is what happens when a television show expedites a story-line in an effort to grab viewers. Obama has continually stated the killing off of Bin Laden was not a ratings grab, but his way of clearing out old ideas in favor of a series reboot.

Bin Laden, whose contract with the show had reached it's end in 2008, agreed to the cameo to finish the once famous 9/11 story-line. Since leaving the show, Bin Laden has gone on to pursue more artistic endeavors and is slated to appear in a the new 2012 Vin Diesel racing movie High Plains Drifter.

Many people will remember Barack Obama came on strong during his first season, inspiring a nation with catchy slogans and the political anthem "Republicans Just Don't Understand." But that honeymoon period quickly wore off.

"Since then," some guy interested in politics said, "the nation has learned to look less to politicians and more towards themselves for leaders. It's a very tough time all around, and the idea of the White House may in fact become a relic of a time when married couples slept in different beds, gas cost a few nickels, and people needed the parenting of a bureaucratic government."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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