President Barrack Obama is taking credit for creating 100 billion, 740 million hand jobs since taking office. "That's three times the number of hand jobs created under the past three presidents combined, and more than double the amount of hand jobs created by President Ronald Reagan", the White house boasts.
"The increased number of hand jobs was made possible by increased stimulus spending which included more than three hundred billion dollars in federal aid for hand jobs this year alone!", boasted Treasury Secretary Timothy Franz Geithner, while testifying before a senate panel investigating hand jobs. "It just goes to show how far a little stimulation can go in achieving big results."
Republicans were quick to point out that the increased number of hand jobs might not be attributable to increased federal spending at all, stating that the increased number of hand jobs could instead be the result of having a large number of unemployed people with time on their hands,as well as the crushing boredom of those who have stopped looking for work all together.
