Elysian Fields, Washington and Heaven---Walking on water in his home turf of Texas, President George Dubya Bush has issued a Presidential directive to clarify his belief in the Divine Right of Congress and the Infallibility of the Presidency to do whatever they darn well intend to do because they want to do it by telling selectively flavored newsmen that "we are the government now and forever and always. That is the way it has been, is now and will be happily ever after even though you may believe otherwise. Get used to it. It is not going to change anytime soon. I call it political reality."
"What more could anyone want?"
"To recap our game plan, we have a foreign policy of socking it to terrorists, but stroking certain governments that have to be stroked unless we are not able to stroke them. We have a domestic policy of making people happy. Let us share your pain and make everything nice. Even if the twain shall meet somewhere in cyberspace, we can do both and be everything to everyone."
"I intend to make Southern bread Rise Again by parting the waters in New Orleans and sprinkling federal manna around, to the benefit of all mankind. This will create national miracles of astounding proportions. Let me tell you."
"Before you ask, let me remind you there is no other way. There is the Bush way and there is the high way to nowhere."
"I will prove it at a Press Conference."
At a hastily called press conference to cover up all the new problems, just before a large contingent of reassembled reporters, Mr. Bush started by asking, "Next question! We accept only good questions. Is there any doubt in your mind? Rest assured, people can sleep while they're conscious late into the night while we micro-manage the new news."
"Are there any further questions? When it comes to peace of mind, rest assured, I have all the answers!"
"Yes, the reporter behind the burning Bush. Oh, that is Harriet Miersshouting something about burn Bush burn and now Vice President Cheney is throwing water on her. You go girl. NO that is not Laura Bush making jokes. Next question. No more questions? We will declare victory and call it a day or a night as the case may be as well as peace in our time."
With that, the President walked off into the sunset a man pleased with himself and the successful use of legerdemain to handle so many difficult problems.
