Disco Dice Nightclub opens in Las Vegas

Funny story written by Paul Shanahan

Monday, 17 October 2005

image for Disco Dice Nightclub opens in Las Vegas

Last weekend a new nightclub opened in Las Vegas atop a 700-foot tall stripper pole: Disco Dice Nightclub. Paul Shanahan, owner of Disco Dice Nightclub, said the only thing harder than getting a bank to finance the $100 million dollar project was to get the original Village People back together to open the nightclub in style.

"I had to pay each Village "person" $100,000, plus an additional $50,000 for the cop," says Shanahan, "but it was worth every penny." Shanahan continues, "This is the happiest day of my life. Disco Dice Nightclub is like the eighth wonder of the world," says Shanahan, slurring his speech as he drinks a beer out of a cocktail waitresses' shoe.

According to Shanahan, the bank would not give him financing until he came up with the brilliant idea to put an extra long stripper pole below Disco Dice Nightclub. "In a couple of weeks we are going to have a 70-foot animatronic Paris Hilton shimmying up and down the entire stripper pole. I'm still working on getting my strip club license so I can have naked strippers dance inside Paris."

Disco Dice Nightclub will have a huge advantage over other nightclubs in Las Vegas because almost everyone on or near the Strip will be able to see Disco Dice Nightclub. Disco Dice Nightclub will have three rooms: Disco Fabulous, Djibouti Room and Uxmal Ultralounge. These three separate rooms will enable Disco Dice Nightclub to cater to a wide demographic of customers ranging from 21-45 years old.

Wynn Stevens, the owner of the largest and most successful nightclub in Las Vegas called the Flying Python, is not impressed. "That Shanahan guy is a drunk Irish peasant. Next week we are going to have The Bee Gees, the kings of disco, at our 5th anniversary party. The Flying Python is easily the best nightclub in Las Vegas, maybe the best in the world."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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