Las Cruces, NM Being Sued Because of City Name, Logo

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 25 September 2005

image for Las Cruces, NM Being Sued Because of City Name, Logo
The city of Las Cruces is being sued by people offended by the city's name and this logo.

The City of Las Cruces, New Mexico in the Southwestern United States is being sued by people who are offended by the city's name and logo. A representative of the Mayor's Office, Bob Gingo, issued this statement on behalf of the city: "This is ridiculous! The name of the city is Las Cruces! That is a Spanish phrase that transates into English as the crosses. So what do you think that the city's logo on our ads should be? Crosses, of course! Now some uptight moron with few brain cells to exercise and nothing else to do has decided to sue us because he is offended by the apparent Christianity or Catholicism of the city. Someone just needs to get a life!"

Las Cruces is a city of blended cultures: the original indians of the area, Spanish settlers, American Cowboys, Mexicans, and now others who have moved into the area from all over the world. The famous White Sands Missile Range is just a short drive and many of the city's residents are connected to that base or other scientific or military research.

The official logo of the city is a sun surrounding three crosses. It can be seen all over the city and in its advertising and tourism brochures for events such as "The Whole Enchilada Festival."

Gringo continued the interview by saying that "we have many people of our city of many different religious beliefs. Sure, we have a lot of Catholics, but we also have Baptists, Methodists, Mormons, Jews, Moslems, Lutherans, and just about everything you can think of. Many of these groups don't worship the cross, but they don't get upset about it."

"Look at it this way, if the name of the city was Pretzeltown, we would probably have a pretzel in our logo. I'm sure that Phoenix, Arizona uses the mythical bird and that Salt Lake City, Utah uses the lake. Our name is Las Cruces, so of course we use crosses! Our citys in this region of the country tended to form around the Catholic missions that were built here. Yslete, Texas is the second oldest city in the United States and it has been there since 1581 when the Yslete Del Sur Pueblo church was built. It is just 60 miles down the road on the other side of El Paso, Texas."

"I wonder what the idiot that brought this lawsuit is going to do next. Will he sue Quaker Oats because he refuses to eat religous hot breakfast cereal? Will he sue Christian Dior because his designer labels make it sound like he is endorsing Jesus? Will he sue St. Louis, St. Paul, San Antonio, San Diego, and every other city named for a dead Catholic?"

"I think that the moron who brought this lawsuit suffers from a severe case of either cranial/rectal inversion or cranial/rectal insertion! I wish people had better things to do than waste the time of the courts with this stupidity!"

Calls to the person filing the lawsuit were not returned. It was believed that they did not have the intelligence to tell where the ringing came from and recognize the source as a telephone.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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